Book Review: Learning to Swim

 

 

 

Learning to Swim By: Ann Turner

              I think that the real magic of memoir and what captivates the reader is the innocence and truth behind it. Memoir is like a diary where every feeling and emotion the author writes about immediately bonds you with him/her. Telling you about the story of Ann Turner will leave you speechless, sad and extremely thankful for what you have. I read this book like 5 times, because every time I read it I dug deeper into her life, I felt more and more connected to her and I could understand the real pain behind every word she wrote.

         This book starts out with Ann and her family going to the beach for the summer, packing everything up and finally getting to their summer house. All of Ann’s family is there; her parents, her brothers (Nick and Peter), and her grandparents. This story revolves around Dresser Pond and Ann’s eagerness to learn to swim. Ann is nothing but a little girl and to her having fun, running, and swimming is what summer is all about. However, when their neighbors Kevin, Lonny and Angie start playing with Annie, Nick and Peter, things start to go wrong. (23)

                 “…Kevin is running past, looking for me with hands that grab, and Lonny is looking, too, with his fat wavery lips like worms that want to squish on my cheeks, and they say it’s a game but I am shivery in the garage…”

            Things start with just a kiss here and a hand there but it gets worse when Kevin comes to Ann’s house. He tells everyone it’s just read aloud but to Ann it is clearly not. She hurts, she cries and despite all of her pain, she keeps quiet as the summer goes by; as her yellow room becomes her nightmare and as Kevin’s shadow seems to follow her everywhere she goes.

            Ann decides to break up her book of poems into different sections, depending on what her emotions are at the time. The first section is called listen and this is where she gives you and insight on what happened during the summer. The next section is called sinking and this is where Ann is just trying to survive the pain and the truth she must keep from everyone. She buries herself in lies and only waits for it all to end. She’s small, naïve and innocent and has no clue that telling is the answer. (37)

           “But my dolls know, Jenny, Amanda and Fuchsia. At night I tell them what you did and they are sad for me with their wide-open eyes and surprised mouths”

          Ann does everything she can think of to get rid of the thoughts that are haunting her in her daily life. She draws Kevin, with burning flames around him; she wishes she was the smoke his father inhaled, just so that someone would know. Someone would ask her about the things she had been keeping to herself all this time. One day, her mother asks her what book Kevin was reading to her in room and just like any kid; her reaction was the clear, white, and simple truth. (79)

          “My eyes blinked, my tongue stuck to the top of my mouth on the words I’d been waiting to say each one hurt like a splinter, yanked out and before I was done she grabbed me up and we cried and cried…”

          The last section in this book, titled Swimming is the resolution. Ann finally realizes that telling her mother was the right thing to do. Kevin never comes back and she learns to swim.  She slowly learns that after all her dark moments during the summer, she can smile, she can feel happy and she knows that Kevin can no longer hurt her. After the summer is over, Ann and her father go back to the summerhouse during winter, to make sure the pipes are clean and there are no damages. This is where Ann somehow finds closure and realizes that her yellow room is no longer her nightmare, and that the boy in shorts is no longer there.

          The tile of a book is supposed to sum up all of the content inside, and coming up with a title that sums up all of Ann’s tragedies must have been hard. When I finished reading this I understood the meaning and what Ann was trying to show us when she titled her memoir Learning To Swim. Like I said before, Ann links her summer to swimming and all that happens in between to sailing, sinking and finally, swimming. Learning to swim is what she does. Not only literally but mentally as well. She learns that telling is what matters and that sometimes, even in the darkest of moments, you might find light and you may find the answer. Grow above all your sorrow and mistakes and learn to swim. Keeping your head above the water.

          After reading this memoir I could see all that Ann went through and what she learned. Before I go into detail I would like to say what I thought of this book. It would sound selfish of me if I told you I knew what Ann went through. What she suffered and what happened to her, just like death and sickness is something only that person can experience. A pain only that person can feel. The depth and feeling Ann puts into this memoir made me cry more than once, made me admire her bravery and made me understand the power of words.

           First of all, the summer she writes about definitely changed her for many reasons. She was only a little girl when Kevin molested her and the things she saw and felt will forever remain in her mind. Not only was she physically abused but she was mentally changed. At the end of the book, there is a message (still in poet form) that somehow refers to all the ones that are going through the same things and small things Ann learned over the years.

          When someone dies, you analyze it right after it happens. When your parents get divorced, you learn from it as the days go by. But when something like what happened to Ann happens to you, you’re completely caught off guard and will struggle through doubts and feelings for a long time. Ann Turner learned that what’s important is to tell, silence is never enough and it will never make all the pain and sorrow go away. What seems wrong at the moment might be everything that you need in order to feel happy again. I could tell you everything Ann taught me but I would like to share with you my favorite part. This was written at the end of her book and it somehow sums up what she learned. I really enjoyed reading this because after all the tragic things she went through; it was nice to know that she had finally recovered from it. This excerpt comes from section Telling is What Matters. (111)

          “..but pulling the words up and out, spilling them across the floor, the table, dropping them into someone’s surprised face: that is what matters and after this time and the next, one day you will feel so light and airy your stomach will uncoil, your face, unclench and you will feel like yourself again”.   

          What I liked the most about this book is that it was written in poems. When you read poems, 20% percent is given to you by the author, and 80% is somewhere there for you to find. You must read between the lines, get yourself involved and try to understand and capture everything the author is telling you. Words in poems have 60% more power than all the commas, periods and paragraphs a normal book can have. In this case, Ann compared her summer to the act of learning how to swim, her feelings with Kevin to sinking and her recovery, to swimming, floating and learning to sail above all the drowned leaves.